May 6, 2016 by Stephen Bentley
Self Development Articles: Big Boys Don’t Cry
Hello, and welcome to another summary of an article I found on the web using the tag ‘self development articles.’
You can view all the previous summaries in the series by clicking on this category link.
Today’s Self Development Article – Big Boys Don’t Cry
I found this article Live Your Life, Serve Your Country and Show No Weakness on Huff Post. It is written by Antonio L. Vereen. Antonio is a veteran, a former serving US military man. He was diagnosed as suffering from depression and has now had a number of articles published on Huff Post.
I make full disclosure – I know Antonio. I first met him in the WordPress Blogging 201 course in 2015 and we have become friends and Facebook buddies.
Favorite Quote from the Author In the Article
Summary of the Article
Antonio deals with the issue of manliness in this article. He writes about why so many men do not show emotions. In his case, he attributes that largely to the military. As he puts it “The culture of the military is to mask your emotions and get on with the business of defending this country.”
Yet, since leaving the military he has learned that (I suspect through his writing) that it’s okay to let yourself “be vulnerable to the world” and allow yourself to become your “true self: an emotional yet masculine man.”
Reading Time of the Article
About the Author and Lessons Learned From The Article
This is Antonio’s bio entry on Huff Post –
Antonio L. Vereen is a blogger who writes on an appropriately titled blog, http://antoniolvereen.com. He writes about maximizing human potential and pushing people out of their comfort zones with positive results. Previously he spent 23 years serving in the U.S. Army in various locations in the United States and the world. Antonio currently works as a Program Manager for an aviation services corporation in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. He is married and has three daughters.
The overwhelming lesson to be learned from the article is that it’s okay for a man to open up. Yes, it is understandable why that isn’t the case in the military. That has a lot to do with discipline and self-discipline. Commanders need to know how the men under their charge will react in stressful situations. They are trained to react in one way. To put personal thoughts aside and follow orders. That is not a criticism. I am merely commentating, observing.
Antonio L. Vereen is a brave man. He has opened up his inner thoughts for all the world to see. I admire him for that. That process also appears to serve a purpose. It helps him come to terms with his depressive illness and is a cathartic process.
I am not sure that I agree with all that he writes about the military. For example, I found this a little contradictory when he writes “It was seen as a weakness to truly care about the soldiers that you were in charge of.”
I find it contradictory on two fronts. One, some of the greatest generals in history have cared about the welfare of their men. I concede that some have not. Secondly, it kind of contradicts the ‘band of brothers’ syndrome. Or, to use an old fashioned phrase the esprit de corps.
In fairness to Antonio, he was constrained by the word limit in the Huff Post article. He is welcome to add anything he wishes to my observations. Perhaps, by way of a guest article?
But, his point is valid. Society, including the military, has built up a stereotype of masculinity. A stereotype of ‘a man does not cry.’
I identify with what he writes about his own father. I never saw my father cry, not once. My father never told me he loved me, not once., even when he was laying on his death bed. Even after I told him that I loved him.
What is wrong with a man showing his emotions? Tears are not the sole preserve of femininity.
I recommend the read. It is an easy read. I find it both interesting and thoughtful. But that is what I have come to expect from Antonio L. Vereen.
This is a further post in what has become a series about self development. The idea is that I take an article or perhaps a video or an infographic and summarize what it really means. I have always been a believer in self development even before it became trendy!
Shucks I even write about self development in my About page! And if you need to know more then please check out my Personal Development page. Self development? Personal Development? C’est la même chose!
If you have a thirst for information like me then I can help. I believe I have found part of the solution through Blinkist. It is an app that if used properly can be a tremendous aid to self development.
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