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Tag: Humour

“Barrister Speak”: A Guide

I shamelessly reproduce this post on a blog from a barrister finding his way through the criminal justice system in England. I thank my London lawyer friend who posted the dialog on Facebook. It deserves as wide an audience as possible. It is so “on the button” and so true. Sometimes the barrister jargon backfires on the speaker. It happened to me once in front of a senior judge at Inner London Crown Court. Whatever I said to him, and of course in “barrister speak” but I forget exactly what I said, was not fully understood by the learned judge. I was in one of those awkward spots when the client was being extremely difficult if not impossible, and I had to convey to the judge…

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Humor in the Courtroom

Humor in the Courtroom How Do Court Reporters Keep a Straight Face? They are usually a very solemn place but humor in the courtroom does happen. These are exchanges that took place and are things people actually said in court (allegedly), word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie…

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The Duchess Not Getting Enough!

FUNNY BUT TRUE COP STORIES The Duchess Not Getting Enough! Z Cars was a British TV series in the 1960s set in the fictional town of Newtown. It was a highly popular show which led to other spin off shows and a step to Hollywood stardom for Brian Blessed, Fancy Smith in the series. The real Newtown was in fact Kirkby, Liverpool. It was a vast overspill housing project to rehouse families from a heavily bombed Liverpool as part of the post WW2 housing plan. Kirkby Police Station Two of the main characters in Z Cars were Police Constables Fancy Smith and Jock Weir. They drove a Ford Zephyr police car. It bore no police markings but had a siren fitted and a drop down…

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